I have fallen off. I am smoking and not working out. I wake up angry and I am short with all who love me. I have disappointed all who love me. Myself included. I have read over my blog to see if I could find that trigger again. All I can say is it must have been desperation. Have I sunk so low that I am ready to pull myself up again? Why do I keep repeating these horrible patterns in my life? Why can't I allow myself to be free?